Friday, April 17, 2009

Veitch, violence and unwelcome memories

I suppose if you are not blogging about Tony Veitch, you are not blogging. I had a strong and unwelcome recollection on hearing something last night. Something to the effect that Veitch was on the ground in a foetal position with both hands over his ears. She wouldn't stop and she wouldn't leave. It took me back to a very bad relationship I was once in. He was utterly controlling, didn't want me to have any other people in my life, including my own family. He would nag and nag until I was exhausted. There was no reasoning with him. Then when I tried to sleep he would turn on the light and pace around saying, "If I can't sleep, neither will you." When I tried to leave he would physically prevent me. When I had cried myself into a pathetic and very unattractive state he would take photos to "show you how ugly you get." And much more, stopping short of physical violence. It was hellish.

I don't know what happened between Veitch and his ex but I know that people can be mentally tormented to breaking point. To the point where all their normal abilities to think straight, to protect themselves, to act rationally, to empathise, have been destroyed simply because they aren't producing the expected and 'normal' results. What then? These sort of situations are mercifully outside of most people's experience. Yet they all have an opinion. I may leave the radio off today.

9 comments:

brian_smaller said...

Even Ghandi would lash out if pushed too far. Good post Lindsay.

James said...

If the positions were reversed and it was Veitch harranging Dunne-Powell,going through her texts and not leaving her property feminists would be screaming about mental abuse and "violence".....

That Veitch tried to block her out and then left the property and gave Dunne Powell time to leave only to find she hadn't tells me Veitch was pushed to lash out....and Dunne Powell has to share the blame for what eventually happened.

Mark said...

Dial 111 and get a trepass order issued.

It was his house after all.

Anonymous said...

I've been there where a partner harassed me to no end. It was torture. It could go on for hours into the wee hours of the morning. Or it would take place on long road trips where I had no option but to sit there. It was pure hell and I lashed out once (in my sleep) punching him hard in the face -- which he amazingly slept through. I left shortly after that.

Oswald Bastable said...

I have walked a mile in his shoes. So I can't agree with the types that say there is never an excuse for lashing out.

Truth is, there are many out there who will push you past breaking point- and we all have one.

I walked out and never looked back- I could see where it all was headed and I didn't want to go there. The considerable financial cost was a small price to pay.

Anonymous said...

Bravo, Lindsay. Great post.
I'm disturbed today by the reaction of the women's refuge groups commenting in the media.
I've been watching them with a dropped jaw. How the Veitch incident - a one off that he has clearly dealt with and compensated Dunne Powell for - can be compared with the bastards beating up on their wives and kids is ludicrous and quite beyond me, it really is. Utterly slimy on the part of those organisations' spokespeople to talk about Veitch in the same way.

Anonymous said...

The first rational attempt to bring sense to the debate.
Blogging in similar vein has only got contemptuous replies from many.

Mark, trying getting a trespass order.
That woman should have been hit with about 15 different charges. One of my women staff said to me after sitting in her car for an hour listening to Woods interview with Veitch that DP was a stalker.
Too many PC Police who simply don't want to recognize that men suffer at the hands of psychopathic women as well.

Its not always the mans fault.

Anonymous said...

Those of us who have kids have probably also had the experience of them torturing us for hours on end with their haranguing.

I can't say I've ever come to the point of breaking their backs.

And if I did, paying them hush money probably wouldn't be considered au fait.

In other words, there is no excuse. "Provocation" is bullshit.

luggage79 said...

"In other words, there is no excuse. "Provocation" is bullshit."

Thank you anon, I completely agree. If you can't bear the situation walk away or get help (i.e. a trespassing order). Things like the latter were INTRODUCED to prevent people from taking matters into their own hands or, rather, fists. I've been in a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship. Never thought of getting violent though.